News and views from the heart of England - Issue 4    © David Smith 2018

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He won’t hurt you


What is it about some budgerigar owners that makes them assume that everybody loves their budgie? That it would be their dearest wish to have the budgie jump all over them, to slobber all over their hands, to sniff their crotch, and even to have fake sex with their leg?

What is it about some budgerigar owners that when they take their budgie for a walk, they seem to gravitate towards any passing members of the public, in the assumption that all the other person wants to do in life is to stroke the bird, tickle its beak, and say inane things like “Who’s a good boy, then?”

What is it about some budgerigar owners that, when their budgie snaps and strains and snarls and barks at you as you walk quietly and peacefully on your way, they assure you that “Oh, it’s alright, he won’t hurt you”?


Front page


GCHQ internal memo

Town Council meeting

Where is our vehicle?

Dark ages?

He won’t hurt you

TV Subtitles



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